Perhaps it was the darkness of Colossal Cave, but the sky looked especially blue as I exited the caverns. The snow from the morning had disappeared, giving way to wandering, white puffy clouds. Gone were the ghosts and shadows. They were no more than the dust left behind my feet as I walked through the trails of Mountain Park. All was bright and beautiful, like the woman who inspired this trip to the unknown.
And, thinking of my mother, I started to climb a nearby hill, wanting to stand as close to the heavens as I could. At the top, I took deep breaths of fresh air, staring out over the Sonoran Desert that stretched as far as I could see. In the highlands, life abounds, a dramatic contrast to the cold crevices hidden beneath the rolling hills. Green agave with ruby red flowers, spiky saguaro cacti, and budding crimson ocotillo with thorned stems like a rose; it was incredibly beautiful. The perfect day.
As I’ve mentioned before, time moves differently in Arizona, as it has for thousands of years. A state of Zen descends, surrounded by nature. I think that’s why my mother liked it so much. Perhaps it brought her a measure of peace. A feeling of time standing still when you have little left. A place you can be, and not be, all at once.
And standing on that hill, in mindful meditation, I felt her love like the gently flowing breeze. The type of love that makes you question your capabilities to love. A love that puts all others in perspective. A love to be shared with the world.
I felt peace too, knowing all was well with her now, and that the sands of time kept moving, even if we couldn’t detect them as we normally did. In that way, she would always be with me. It was time for me to move on too.
“Don’t wait, Dawn.” My mother’s voice. “Live, love, laugh!”
I smiled and started heading back. As she promised, my adventure in Southern Arizona had been fun.
On the way home, I stopped for lunch in Tucson. There. I fell in love with the 1929 courthouse, with its lovely, tiled mosaic dome. It’s on the National Register of Historic Places and now houses a visitor center and museum. I found it fitting that it was pink, the soft, sweeping color of the heart.
Dawn B~
Dawn Berkoski 
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